November 2024 Voting Guide — Maricopa County LD5

There are a ton of voter guides out there. I read a lot of them, and have the following opinion. Who and what you vote for against is between you and your gods. But if you don’t have the time or inclination to dig into all of this, here’s what I’m doing.

5 min read3 days ago

My mail-in ballot arrived today, so I can finally complete this fucking thing. I spend way too much time digging into these issues, researching every single one of them. Yes, it’s exhausting. I do it because it’s my civic duty, and I have time.

I live in midtown Phoenix, so my choices in my District will be different for you if you live in a different District. So don’t at me if you don’t see all of these on your ballot.

Federal Elections

These should not surprise you. 😏

President

Harris/Walz, of course. Anything else — even not voting — is a vote for MAGA. And no, this single vote doesn't mean you’re done voting. Keep going. That’s why I made this guide, ya know?

U.S. Senator

Ruben Gallego, of course. Kari Lake is a nutjob. Let’s keep her out of office, shall we?

U.S. Representative (District 3)

Yasmin Ansari, because Jeff Zink kinda hates public education and is in favor of literally every other option other than strong public schools. So fuck him.

State Senator (District 5)

Lela Alston, because Joshua Ortega had his “eyes opened” in 2016 and became a Republican. Yeah. That 2016. 🙄

State Representative (District 5)

Sarah Liguori & Aaron Márquez, because Reina “Reina” Patocs should be a theologian, not a politician.

Corporation Commissioners

Jonathon Hill, Joshua Polacheck, and Yliena Aguilar. They are thinking about the future, where the Reps are just about keeping rates low. Which, sure, I don’t want to pay more either. But we need forward-thinking people in charge.

County Supervisor (District 3)

Daniel Valenzuela, if only because Kate Brophy McGee is an election denier.

Maricopa County Assessor

Greg Freeman, though that’s just because I’m committed to voting blue down-ballot. I didn’t find anything shitty about Eddie Cook, so make your choice,

Maricopa County Attorney

Tamika Wooten, because Rachel Mitchell regurgitates MAGA talking points.

County Recorder

Tim Stringham, because Justin Heap is an election denier and book-banner. Wanker.

Maricopa County School Superintendent

Laura Metcalfe, because Shelli L Boggs thinks teachers are indoctrinating students to be gay or some other dumb shit.

County Sherrif

None. Kamp sexually harassed a female police officer, and Sheridan likes to racially profile people. So we’re fucked either way.

County Treasurer

Only one person is running. WTF, Democrats? Where’s our choice? Shit like this is why I’m not a Democrat. Y’all drive me bonkers sometimes.

Phoenix Union HSD №210

Francisco Isaac Pastor-Rivera and Debbie Cross. My wife is a lifelong educator, and she liked their answers the best. (Though the others also seem fine.)

Central AZ Water Conservation District

Terry Goddard and Heather Macre were suggested to me by some crazy progressive people, so that’s good enough for me. Brian Biesemeyer is the only other candidate who bothered to fill out their Balletopedia questionnaire, and he gave good answers. So I’m just voting for those 3, even though there are 5 slots. YMMV.

City of Phoenix Mayor

Kate Gallego, because Matt Evans hates public transportation and refers to the Phoenix Light Rail tracks as, and I quote “DEI-driven routes.” Look, I’m frustrated by the limits of our current public transportation too, Sport. Why you’re putting this on brown and black people is beyond me, so you can fuck all the way off.

Propositions

Most of these are very shitty, and some are designed to trip people up. Many who vote on voting day will get this terribly wrong, so do your part!

133 — No, I’m an Independent, not registered with any party, and I want to participate in primaries, as I can now.
134 — No, because citizen-mandated initiatives are an important way democracy works and force our often recalcitrant legislation to take action that we, the people, lobby for amongst our own citizens.
135 — No, and I’m sorry you had to wear a mask. Sheesh. Let’s not slow down disaster responses because you are still pissed about COVID mandates.
136 — No, for the same reason on 134.
137 — No, because we have some terrible judges who need to answer to the voters.
138 — No, because every worker should be paid fairly by their employers.
139 — Yes, because fuck letting legislators decide women’s healthcare for them.
140 — Yes, because the two dominant parties have the odds stacked in their favor, leading to monochromatic candidates and extreme “us vs. them” mentality.
212 — Yes, the minimum wage is way too low.
311 — No, leave punishment up to the courts.
312 — No, because the solution to ending homelessness isn’t making homelessness illegal.
313 — No, existing guidelines for sentencing are 7 years to life. All this would to is make life mandatory instead of a judge’s discretion.
314 — No, FFS. Let’s fix the immigration problem, indeed. But just like 312, this is knee-jerk legislation that doesn’t even know the root causes.
315 — No, because I like clean drinking water.
479 — Yes, because if we don’t do it, we’ll have no revenue streams to pay for the planned and in-progress transportation projects. That would be bad.
486 — Yes, because the current MCCC budget is based on a rubric from 1980. Nineteen eighty. I was in the 7th grade. I’m 56. Do the math. Shit has changed. Don’t freak out about the number. It’s needed. Vote for it.
487 — Yes, because Mayor Kate Gallego urged voters to approve it, saying Phoenix has outgrown the limit and that it “would result in a drastic $2.1 billion cut, or 30 percent of our total budget, for the 2025–26 fiscal year. This is such an enormous cut that you would feel it every day.”
488 — Yes, the plan seems fine. I’m not an urban or civic planner. Are you? This is why we elect people to do this shit. Kate Gallego says we need it, and I find no arguments against.
489 — Yes, even though I’d like to see other salaries increase, like public school teachers. But fair is fair, and the last salary adjustment was in 2006–18 years ago.

Judges

AZ Supreme Court — Clint Bolick and Kathryn Hacket King voted to enforce the 1984 abortion ban, so no. Let’s not keep them.
Court of Appeals — Maricopa County — Paton was featured at a Federalist Society symposium in AZ on Originalism and the AZ Constitution on Oct. 7, 2022. She was Special Asst. Attorney General under Mark Brnovich. So no, let’s not keep Paton.
Maricopa County Superior Court — There’s a lot. My only recommendation is you vote not to retain Christopher A. Coury — He supported some CyberNinja bullshit.

And now I’m tired. I’ve signed my envelope, and I’ll take my ballot and my wife’s ballot to the polls or post office tomorrow.

Go vote, fellow Phoenicians!

-Evo Terra (or eVOTErra if you like)